Love is troubelsome
by karenwatchyourmouth
Summary: If friendship made us strong, would love make us weak? If fate wants to play, should we run away from each other? Lucy, you're the smart one here answer it yourself! Oi Natsu, forget I asked! Rated M, because sooner or later i will definetly "unleash my imagination" Enjoy!


Hi everyone! This is my first fanfic I hope first chapter is interesting! If there are any mistakes please let me know. Smut fans please be patient! :D Unfortunately I don't own Fairy Tail or any of its characters! ;( (why, oh why...)

...

'Home, sweet home' I thought after finally getting through the door of my apartment. I left my luggage on the couch and headed to the bathroom just to make sure that he is not around. Even though I knew that I supposed to be proud of him and thankful for all he did for me during „The Ground Magic Tournament", I couldn't bring myself to look him in the eyes. The moment I realized I'm in love with Natsu I was neither happy, nor sad. I was ashamed of myself.

I used to think that he is too carefree and his actions are illogical, but in fact my life would be meaningless mess without his presence. I owe him so much and it's so frustrating. How is this possible that I still want more? He gave me his friendship, saved my life few times, introduced me to my new family, gave me a chance to fulfill my dream of becoming wizard and instead of supporting him and doing my best to repay for his kindness I constantly bring him more trouble. „I am so pathetic" I said to myself and chuckled, while looking at the ceiling. 'I need to find a way to solve this problem. I should think about it carefully, I can't hurt Natsu. I need his friendship more than air. I have to talk to him. He deserve honesty.' I thought and decide to take some time alone to prepare for confrontation with the most unpredictable man on the edge. I quickly cleaned my bedroom, ate dinner and took shower. I had to talk with my comrades from Fairy Tail. If I don't explain them that I need some privacy, they will just interfere sooner or later. I sighed at the memory of my friends appearing at my house without invitation.

When I arrived at the guild, I was worried that I may have to face him already, but hopefully he wasn't there. I quickly approached Erza.

- Hey, Erza! Can I ask you for a favor?

- Of course Lucy. What is it?

- I need some time alone to think. Could you please make sure that no one would visit me until I solve my problems? It is really important matter and I want to face it alone. I promise to explain it to you after everything is over.

- Are you sure you don't want to talk now? You know I will do my best to help you. Do you want me to keep an eye on Natsu and Grey?

- I'm really sorry I don't want to talk about it yet. Please repeat to both of them what I told you.

- No problem. I wish I could help. - she promised to me and smiled lightly, but it was obvious that she was worried. I felt incredibly happy about my friend concern and hugged her.

- Thank you very much. I'm sorry I made you worried. I promise to fix things as quick as possible. - I said and smiled at her. After conversation with my beloved Titania, I sat next to Levy and explained my future actions. She was also surprised and worried, but she respected my decisions.

I left the guild as soon as I could, hoping that Natsu will talk to Erza before coming to my house. While I was walking, I came to conclusion that I should make up my mind in at least two days. I hoped not to worry my nakama too much.

I spend whole day thinking about Natsu, my feelings for him and this urge to express them. Just one and half a day passed since I last had seen him and I was already missing him. When have I become such impatient and greedy person? I scratched my head and suddenly realized something. 'I am a member of the strongest guild in Fiore. I have overcome so many troubles. I'm not going to cowardly sit here, I will take up this challenge.' In one moment I felt strong and ready to make things clear. Our friendship will last even if he doesn't return my feelings. Also I would rather be sure we're not meant to be together, than keep on having false hope.

Since I didn't want to show up at the guild yet I summoned Loke and asked if he can find Natsu and deliver my message. Thankfully he didn't mind. He took a piece of paper from me and quickly went out smiling suspiciously. After less than five minutes Natsu came through the window. That shocked me a bit and before I could say anything, he was already sitting on my bed, smiling to me.

- Hey, Luce! Is everything alright already? - he asked cheerfully.

- A-almost. - 'Did I stutter!? Why am I so scared!' - How Loke found you so quickly?

- I was outside your house. Just making sure that you're safe. - he explained calmly and blushed a bit. 'How is it possible that he is so cute yet so dangerous?'

- I made dinner. Would you like to eat with me?

- You don't need to ask! - he happily answered my question and before I started walking towards the kitchen he was already there.

We ate in silence. Actually he was eating. I was just playing with food. When he finally ended his meal, he asked me:

- What has actually happened? Why didn't you talk to me earlier? - I guess he was disappointed.

- I have no idea how should I explain it properly. I think the easiest way would be to start from the very beginning. - I looked at him, but he remained silent. - Natsu, are you in love with Lisanna? - I couldn't bring myself to continue to look at him. I was staring at the table, hoping to never here any answer.

- You know... - he paused, took a breath and slowly continued - To be honest I never gave it much thought. I'm not the type to fall in love. I... There are so many things I want to do. I dedicated my life to adventure, not to family life or romances. I think. I'm just not responsible enough I suppose. - he was so honest with me. 'He is out of my league.' I thought and bit my bottom lip to prevent myself from crying. - Why do you ask me about it?

- You see... - I started to tremble lightly. - Natsu I consider you my best friend. You are strong, smart, caring and handsome I just couldn't help my feelings. I fell in love with you. I may act strange in the future. I wanted you to know about it. I would do my best to hide it, but I want you to be aware of the situation. After all we're friends. - I looked him in the eyes. I was proud of myself that I was honest, even though my heart ached a bit. It seemed he was embarrassed. He was looking at me blushing with mouth opened. He needed time to understand my confession and I was patient enough to wait.

- Luce, I... - he paused and covered his face with hands. - I need time. I'm sorry. - He got up and went out not turning around.

I didn't have strength to get up, so I stayed in the kitchen. I cried, while wondering if I'm still part of Team Natsu, hoping to still be friends with my first love.


End file.
